Working mum anger: how and why we need to make space for it

Words by Cristalle Hayes

Working mums are busy navigating the many different roles required of them. Making space for anything other than work and your children may seem impossible yet making space for anger is key to not getting derailed by rage. Use your anger to your advantage by simply noticing, reflecting and accepting this valuable emotion.

When you feel anger arise, notice how anger feels in your body and where you feel it in your body. Does anger manifest as tension in the throat or tightness in the chest? Can you gently stay with the sensations and allow it to be with no judgment, just compassion? Notice how your thoughts change and how your communication and body language changes.

Also, notice, when do you feel anger the most, what time of day, who are you with, and where are you? These are helpful questions to ask yourself when needing to make space for anger.

Journaling, speaking it through with a partner or therapist or meditating on your embodied experience through body scans can also help you make space for anger.

I appreciate working mums don’t have much time in the day yet making space for anger can be done within seconds and when you’re in the moment, or when doing mindless tasks such as washing up or on the daily commute, school run or whilst taking a long walk with the buggy.

Making space is really about being present with your body and emotions. The more we practice making space for anger, the more effortless it will become.

We need to make space for our anger as anger can help you get in touch with your needs, values and boundaries.

Anger will make you aware when you need to realign yourself when your needs, values and boundaries are out of kilter or wildly disrespected.

Another reason why we need to make space for anger is that it helps you to tolerate your emotions and increase emotional awareness and resilience, which are incredibly valuable skills to have as a working mother.

Making space for your anger in this way won't make you angrier. It will reduce angry outbursts and help you feel more in control.

Cristalle Hayes is an existential and trauma-based psychotherapist and author of Angry Mother Assertive Mother: From maternal anger to radical repair, published by Rethink, available on Amazon