Body language to make you look confident, even if you don't feel it

Written by Liz Sebag-Montefiore

Confidence is a belief in yourself, the conviction that you have the ability to meet life's challenges and to succeed - and the willingness to act accordingly.

Most of us suffer from a lack of confidence from time to time. We may have a good level of self-confidence in some areas and low confidence in others.

The Psychology Today website suggests we can tackle low self-confidence by acknowledging every emotion, including difficult emotions; speaking up for ourselves; and, limiting self-criticism.

But there are strategies that will help you improve your confidence - and improving your body language will improve your effectiveness when communicating.

What you’re not saying

Psychology professor Albert Mehrabian at the University of California, Los Angeles, posits the 7-38-55 rule - which states that seven per cent of meaning is communicated through spoken word, 38 per cent through tone of voice, and 55 per cent through body language.

Non-verbal communication skills matter, especially in the covid crisis where we have learned to communicate while masked and limited many meetings to video-conferencing.

Body language in a virtual meeting impacts your image so something as simple as looking into your camera rather than looking around will enhance your virtual image.

Eye contact is probably the single strongest indicator of confidence, but posture, stance, gestures and mannerisms also play a part in how you project yourself and the image you portray. Remember that facial expression conveys a great deal of information about your emotional status to others.

Fake it til you make it

My top advice for people wanting to appear more confident is to focus on those you are engaging with, rather than worrying about how others perceive you.

Concentrate on the other person and the message being communicated, rather than thinking about yourself and how self-conscious you feel.

Eye contact matters in this context because failure to maintain eye contact sends a message to the speaker which suggests you are not interested in what they have to say. Pay attention and show concern for and interest in others - it will result in more effective communication overall.

Smile when it is appropriate to do so, show that you are interested by nodding, and leaning forward when asking a question; mirroring the posture of your interlocutor can be a useful ploy.

Stand up, speak up and play the part of a confident person; empower yourself and believe in yourself and you
will be taking steps that improve your self-confidence.

Liz Sebag-Montefiore is a career coach and director and co-founder of HR consultancy 10Eighty.